Mike Taylor

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  • Important vs. impactful

    Of everything you’re doing right now, what will matter in a thousand years?

    Jesus says in Revelation 1:8 that he is the one who is, who was, and who is to come.

    His legacy is timeless, surviving all changes in the earth and all historical shifts in society.

    If Jesus’ legacy is timeless, and Scripture says in 1 John that “in this world we are like Jesus” (1 John 4:17) then what are we doing that will stand the test of time?

    Think of it this way: who can you name from a thousand years ago?

    (I’ll give you a hint. It was the Middle Ages.)

    Here are a few names you might know:

    • Joan of Arc
    • Charlemagne
    • Johannes Gutenberg
    • Marco Polo
    • Leonardo da Vinci
    • Genghis Khan

    Unless you paid especially close attention in history class, you’d probably be hard-pressed to give any amount of detail about what any of those people did.

    You probably know they were important. But were they impactful?

    Important means “of great significance or value and likely to have a profound effect on success, survival, or well-being.”

    Impactful means “to have a strong effect on someone or something.”

    Importance is something we think is valuable. Impactful is something that changes things.

    A City Council approving a new park to be built in your community is important. A father taking his son to that park every Saturday is impactful.

    Do you see the difference?

    Important things include:

    • Work
    • Projects
    • Household chores
    • Finances

    Impactful things include:

    • Faith
    • Marriage
    • Parenting
    • Friendships

    Important things are typically not people-centered. Impactful things always are.

    And the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

    You can do things that are both important and impactful. You can do work that changes people’s lives. 

    But important things tend to have a wide and shallow impact.

    That’s because important work tends to be about providing something valuable to as many people as possible. In other words, it prioritizes reach over depth.

    Impactful things, on the other hand, are all about depth and therefore tend to be more narrowly focused.

    To have a genuine impact, it’s very difficult to spread out your efforts. Like drilling a well, impact tends to be an art of focused, consistent effort.

    Now, here’s the important distinction:

    Important work has the potential to be remembered for generations. But impactful work has the potential of being felt for generations.

    There was a survey that asked teenagers to identify the person they admired most as a role model besides their parents.

    (David Kinnaman, who directed the study, noted that parents were left out of the potential answers because so many teenagers either have high regard for their parents or feel otherwise compelled to list their parents as role models. To quote the study, “Previous research shows that mentioning parents is almost an automatic response for many.”)

    In this survey, the respondents could have chosen musicians, athletes, community leaders, historical figures or any of the many, many, influential people kids learn to admire in popular culture and history classes.

    But here were the most common answers:

    1. 37% answered a relative, such as a grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc.
    2. 11% answered teachers and coaches
    3. 9% said friends
    4. 6% said a pastor or other religious leader they know personally

    In total, nearly two-thirds of teenagers said their closest relationships within their communities were the most influential on their lives.

    Entertainers came in at 6%, followed by athletes at 5%, political leaders at 4%, faith leaders at 4%, business leaders at 1%, authors at 1%, science and medical professionals at 1%, other artists at 1%, and members of the military at 1%.

    That’s only about a quarter of the total responses that included people outside of close communities (although some of the answers, such as athletes and leaders, could have been local role models).

    What’s noteworthy from this study is that pastors and even Jesus were listed less than 10% of the time. That means if you want your kids to learn about Jesus, you have to model it. That’s what they’re going to retain. And that’s what’s going to have the greatest impact.

    You might be wondering, “But how? What does being an impactful person or role model look like?”

    Well, the study asked the same thing.

    And when asked why the participants identified the role models they selected, here were the top reasons:

    • 26% listed personality traits like caring about others, being loving and polite, being courageous, and being fun 
    • 11% said they were encouraging, which included helping them be a better person, always being there for them, or being most interested in their future.

    In other words, a huge chunk – 36% – of why someone made the “most influential” list in a young person’s life was simply because they were kind and compassionate.

    Here were some other answers for why they selected who they did:

    • 22% said they wanted to emulate them or follow in their footsteps
    • 13% said that he or she accomplished their goals
    • 9% said this person overcame adversity
    • 7% said he or she works hard

    That’s 51% of the reasons falling in the category of simply being respectable.

    If we break all of those reasons down, here are the three things that matter most when it comes to impacting people’s lives:

    1. Having a close personal relationship
    2. Showing people you care
    3. Giving them something to respect by setting goals and following through

    You don’t have to be a superstar. You don’t have to be wealthy. You don’t have to be well known. You don’t have to be intelligent or successful in the eyes of the world. 

    To have a significant positive impact on someone, you just have to care about people, be there for them, and show them what living a respectable life looks like by doing whatever you do with excellence.

    This study shows us what we all inherently know is true.

    Make a quick mental list of the people you have looked up to most in your life. This list usually includes at least one parent or guardian, probably a sibling, maybe an aunt or uncle, definitely your close friends, and maybe a pastor, coach or teacher.

    These are impactful relationships. And impact equals influence. 

    But that’s not how our culture typically thinks of influence. We think that importance equals influence.

    Time Magazine has what’s called the Time100, which is a list of the 100 most influential people in the world. This list includes innovators, musicians, actors, athletes, politicians, and other major public figures. It’s a list of important people.

    For example, Patrick Mahomes made this list. He’s important because he’s done something that society deems important – he’s an elite athlete.

    But whose life will be changed by Patrick Mahomes?

    Kids will certainly be inspired by him to strive to achieve more in their own lives, but if you had to place a percentage on it, whose lives will Patrick Mahomes have a major impact on?

    It will be his wife, his kids, his close friends, the kids he coaches and mentors on local sports teams – those are the lives that will be impacted by him. Not the countless people who are entertained by him on Sundays.

    But here’s the tough part:

    We love important work.

    It makes us feel good because we long to build things, and today’s culture tells us that what we should be building is something important.

    Important work will always fade away. Impactful work – pouring your life into the people closest to you – is what will matter when you’re gone.

    Bonnie Ware, a nurse who provided care for dying patients, wrote a book titled, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. These are the top 5 regrets she listed:

    1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
    2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
    3. “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”
    4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
    5. “I wish I had let myself be happier”

    These are all relationship-focused regrets.

    When we focus on what feels important, we’ll chase things that we think other people will respect us for (the #1 regret) and we’ll de-prioritize margin, rest, emotional health, connection to friends, and happiness (numbers 2-5 on the list).

    Harvard’s 80-year study on what makes for a happy life found that, “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.”

    Maybe that’s why the most common regrets are things that hinder close, real relationships.

    Notice what’s not on the list of regrets, though. It doesn’t say, “I wish I had achieved more.”

    Stop and acknowledge that.

    Deep down, we all know what’s important. And yet we get blinded by what feels important.

    Don’t get me wrong, important work needs to be done. We need people doing important work to advance our culture and create a better future for the world. The technological and medical breakthroughs we’ve had allow us to live the lives we enjoy today.

    But we have to stop confusing importance for impactful. Don’t get sucked into the allure of important work. Yes, it must be done, but it’s not what matters most.

    Focus on impact, first and foremost.

    Focus on cultivating the relationships and resources that are closest to us. You’ll often find that important work stems from an impact-first mentality.

    Then, in a thousand years, when no one knows your name and your memory is long gone, your legacy will be alive and well, replicating exponentially in the lives of the children’s children’s children of the people you poured your life into impacting.

    That, my friend, is something worth living for.

  • The badge of burnout

    Somewhere along the way, we started wearing burnout like it’s a badge of honor.

    Letting someone know that we’re busy somehow feels validating.

    A survey found that 60% of parents feel overwhelmed by the mental load of parenting.

    Busy has become our baseline. And without it, we feel unproductive, maybe even unimportant.

    (Just imagine saying yes to something that doesn’t have a goal and see how the thought makes you feel.)

    Overwhelm isn’t a sign that you’re important. It’s a sign that something needs to change.

    A burned-out person is an ineffective person.

    You can’t pour out if you’re empty. And you can’t fake being present for long.

    Rest isn’t indulgent. Rest is essential.

    One study found that regular leisure activities—quiet time, time in nature, hobbies, even just unwinding—are linked to lower stress, lower blood pressure, better health, and better mood.

    It’s not about having a hobby or taking a vacation. It’s about fostering a lifestyle that includes rhythms of rest.

    But most of us ignore the invitation. We call it lazy or selfish or just plain impossible.

    But what if your health and peace was part of the job?

    What if letting go is what helps you show up better?

  • Stewarding what you cherish

    Most people don’t waste time, money, or opportunities on purpose.

    They usually just don’t realize how valuable they are.

    We naturally think impact comes from big plans and important goals.

    But it’s usually the unnoticed moments—a distracted look, a sharp word, a missed chance to engage—that shape the people closest to us.

    We overestimate the weight of our intentions and underestimate the power of our presence.

    Because you only steward what you truly cherish. And you only cherish what you see as valuable.

    A few things worth cherishing:

    1. Cherish your insecurities. Insecurity isn’t weakness—it’s insight. It simply shows what you care about and where you long to grow. When you hide it, it becomes shame. When you share it, it becomes connection. Vulnerability is the doorway to trust.

    2. Cherish your frustration. Frustration is a mile marker—it points to what matters and where unity is needed. It’s not the enemy; it’s a signpost. The goal isn’t to eliminate it, but to walk through it with purpose. Avoid it, and you’ll drift. Embrace it, and you’ll grow.

    3. Cherish the present. The present is the only place you can actually affect change. Everything else—past regret, future fantasy—is an illusion. Who you want to become isn’t found in tomorrow. It’s in the next word, the next moment, the next small step you choose right now.

    You don’t need more time.

    You just need to value the time you already have.

    And when you start to cherish it, you’ll steward it well.

  • The rare gift of listening

    It’s been said that people won’t remember what you say, only what you do.

    But I think people don’t usually forget what you said—they just never really heard it.

    Not because they’re rude. Because we’re all mostly half-there.

    Scrolling. Distracted. Waiting for our turn to talk.

    We think we’re listening, but we’re just collecting noise.

    Presence has become rare. And rare things become valuable.

    According to Forbes, 92% of highly engaged employees say they feel heard at work. In companies that outperform others, 88% of employees feel heard—compared to just 62% in companies that don’t.

    Turns out, listening isn’t just polite. It’s productive.

    One study found that brain development was increased in children who had interactive conversations where they were being listened to by an adult.

    Because being heard feels like being seen. And being seen changes people.

    The opposite is also true.

    Distraction doesn’t just break focus – it erodes connection.

    So the question being asked in the head of someone who’s speaking to you isn’t, “Did they hear me?” The question is, “Do they care about me?”

    Listening isn’t passive. It’s sacrificial. It costs you attention, energy, pride.

    But it gives something more valuable in return: trust, clarity, belonging.

    You don’t have to be brilliant to make someone feel loved.

    You just have to be fully there.

  • Fear’s a swindler, not a thief

    Fear can’t take anything from you – it can only tell you stories and receive what it convinces you to hand over.

    And most of the time, we give it more than we realize.

    Fear shows up any time you’re close to something meaningful. That’s not a flaw, that’s often confirmation.

    But somewhere along the way, we started treating fear like a signal to stop, instead of a sign along the way.

    There’s a moment in Moses’ story where God tells him to lead his people out of slavery. Moses is 80, unsure of himself, and afraid of public speaking. He tells God all the reasons he can’t do it—his past, his weakness, his fear.

    God doesn’t reassure him with comfort or confidence. He just basically says, “Go, I’ll be with you.”

    That’s it. No motivational speech, just a promise that he’ll be present.

    The fear didn’t leave, but Moses stopped letting it convince him to give it control.

    And that’s the shift—fear doesn’t have to go away for you to move forward, you just have to stop giving it the authority to decide what you do.

    Here’s what I’ve noticed:

    Fear is real – it’s very real. But it’s not a flaw. It’s part of being human.

    Fear grows when we give it energy—when we obsess, avoid, or try to outsmart it.

    But you don’t have to argue with fear to move forward, you just have to see it for what it is and keep going.

    Fear feeds on control. The more you try to manage every outcome, the louder it gets.

    Peace doesn’t come from having a plan, it comes when you decide that it’s okay if you don’t have one.

    Our culture says to conquer fear by mastering it. But what if you don’t need to master it? What if you just need to stop handing it the wheel?

    Fear will ask for what matters to you. But you don’t have to hand it over.

    It only takes what you give it.

  • Golf balls

    When my son – who just turned 11 – was a baby, he used to keep me distracted.

    I remember one time I was sitting in our tiny living room trying to finish something “important.”

    Laptop open, head full of ideas. I was chasing “purpose” (if I could make the quotation marks bigger I would), and it was full steam ahead.

    That’s when baby JT kicked me in the face.

    He was climbing on me, slapping the keyboard, and bouncing on the couch. I kept trying to focus so I could just finish one thing before the day got away.

    But I was already too late.

    He didn’t need me in an hour. He needed me right then.

    So I closed the laptop.

    We wrestled, laughed, and spent the morning together. I don’t remember what I was working on. But I remember that moment.

    It was one of the most productive days of my life – not because of what I got done, but because of what I didn’t miss.

    That’s the thing about perspective. You don’t lose it all at once. You drift.

    You start thinking your future is the most important thing in the room. That what you’re building for them matters more than being with them.

    Nothing could be further from the truth.

    There’s a story about a professor who stood in front of his class with a jar.

    He filled it with golf balls and asked if it was full. They said yes.

    Then he poured in pebbles, which filled the spaces between the balls. Again, full.

    Then sand, which filled in every crack.

    He told them: the golf balls are the big stuff—family, health, faith, people you love. The pebbles are things that matter—your job, your house. The sand is everything else.

    If you put the sand in first, there’s no room for the rest.

    That moment on the couch reminded me of what goes in the jar first.

  • What does it mean to be a man?

    What does it really mean to be a man?

    Examples are getting harder to come by.

    I can tell you it’s rarely done well, but here’s what I’ve noticed in the men who’ve done it right:

    A real man shows honor.

    He builds others up instead of tearing them down. In fact, he hates tearing people down.

    He speaks well of people, even when it doesn’t make sense.

    He isn’t threatened by someone else’s strength or their weakness. He embraces both.

    A real man serves.

    He forsakes self-preservation.

    He shows up when it’s inconvenient.

    He thinks of himself less, not less of himself.

    He protects and provides first and foremost.

    He doesn’t virtue signal and he’s okay if people don’t like him for it.

    A real man is courageous. Not because he’s strong, but because he still shows up when he isn’t.

    He confronts his past instead of avoiding it.

    He cries.

    He faces discomfort instead of looking for an escape.

    A real man is honest about his imperfections.

    He doesn’t hide weakness. He relishes in his own growth opportunities.

    He gives grace. Lots of it.

    He values wholeness over perfection. And he knows the difference intimately.

    Most importantly, he knows his place, he bows his head, and he bends his knee to his Creator.

    This is what manhood should look like.

    Let’s pray we never lose our examples.

  • Boats and docks

    Growth is good, but order is everything.

    You probably have more ideas than time. More ambition than capacity. And that’s not a bad thing.

    You should be striving for better in all areas of your life. Absolutely.

    But without order, everything all falls apart.

    Try this:

    Focus only on two priorities. That’s right, only two.

    Priority one is what we’ll call the dock.

    It’s the thing that keeps you steady—your job, your responsibilities, the work that pays the bills.

    It might feel boring or frustrating, but it’s what holds your life up right now.

    Priority two is the boat.

    It’s what you’re building for the future. Maybe it’s a side project, a new career path, a book, or a dream that won’t leave you alone.

    It matters, but it’s not time to sail yet.

    If I know you like I think I do, you chase three, four, or even five things at once until you spread themself too thin, get overwhelmed, and quit.

    Trust me. Just try two.

    Even two priorities can get tangled if they’re not in the right order.

    When the boat gets more attention than the dock, you start risking your foundation.

    And if you only spend time on the dock, you get stagnant.

    The dock supports the boat. The boat provides advancement and adventure.

    Here’s the thing you’ll learn:

    Most of your life should be spent on docks, building boats. And that’s okay. That’s part of the fun. After all, what’s a dock without a boat?

    So be faithful to the dock, but don’t give up on the boat.

    Know which one you’re standing on. Then get excited about building both.

  • Platforms and stairs

    She was barely two. Dusty knees and hair stuck to her cheek from the last parts of the sucker she had on the way over to dad’s work.

    She stood at the edge of the loading dock, arms stretched high, reaching for a place she couldn’t touch.

    Her dad watched from the side, carrying boxes up the staircase behind her. Back and forth. Load after load.

    Each time he passed, she pointed again.

    “Up,” she said. “Up.”

    He smiled, but kept walking.

    She grunted this time as she tried to pull herself up by the edge, but her legs slipped and she landed in the gravel.

    Frustrated tears came fast. She turned to him, betrayed.

    He set down the box, knelt beside her, and brushed the dirt from her hands.

    “There’s a way,” he said gently, pointing to the stairs. “But you’ve gotta walk around the platform.”

    She didn’t understand; she just looked up again.

    So he scooped her into his arms and carried her the long way around.

    Step by step they went up the stairs while he held her hand.

    At the top, she grinned wide like she’d done it herself.

    He just held her steady while she celebrated, then he took her hand.

    “Come on,” he said. “Walk with me.”

    And that’s what they did.

    Down the stairs and back up again. One step at a time. Over and over like it was a carnival ride.

    She came to love the steps more than she loved the platform.

    She didn’t know it then, but she was doing much more than helping dad unload boxes.

  • The false path to fulfilled dreams

    College used to be marketed as being “for everyone”.

    It still is today to some degree (see what I did there 😉).

    That “mistruth” is more false now than it’s ever been.

    College can be one of the best experiences a young person has, especially if they go in with a plan.

    I’m very glad that doctors, engineers, lawyers, and scientists go to college.

    But having a plan and using college as a springboard to a successful career is not the norm.

    One survey found that a third of American adults had no plan after graduation.

    Another study found that about half of all bachelor’s degree graduates end up in a job that doesn’t require a college degree.

    Meanwhile, college graduates, on average, leave school with $38,000 in student loan debt.

    Most kids sign up for college, agree to pay the massive bill, then try to figure it out while they’re there. And sadly, almost half of them don’t (40% don’t graduate).

    College has become this place to extend high school and delay adulthood. And it’s not hard to understand why.

    We ask 18-year-olds to pick a major, choose a career path, and invest thousands upon thousands of dollars in a decision they don’t fully understand yet.

    And even if they do it right, there’s still one major skillset they probably won’t learn in college:

    How to solve real-world problems without a rulebook or a manual to follow.

    College teaches you how to research, write, show up on time, and follow instructions. 

    All of that has value, of course. 

    But real success – especially today – demands more. You have to know how to step into unclear situations and figure out what to do next.

    That’s rare today, and it’s because of how we teach our kids.

    It’s almost impossible to teach that in a classroom.

    Most college programs don’t regularly ask students to solve problems without a clear process. Students are taught to give the right answer, not find one on their own.

    But the people who build careers and lead teams and make things better are the ones who create solutions when there wasn’t a roadmap, not the ones who follow all the steps correctly.

    That doesn’t mean college is a waste. It has immense value for certain career paths. It just means there are huge gaps between what’s efficient for grading and what’s effective in the real world.

    And the truth is, we desperately need more problem solvers than we need rule followers.