Simple Takeaway:
Peace is not found in your ability to do the right things or avoid the wrong things. Peace is found when you stop avoidant behavior, take a breath, face reality without emotional judgement, act in accordance with what you value, then let go of control. God keeps every planet on its axis and every heart beating, and he doesn’t need help. So be where you are, control what you can control, and let go of the rest.
Is it possible to have peace in the middle of anxiety, fear, and internal conflict?
The dictionary says that peace is the absence of conflict. It’s “freedom from disturbance”.
While that sounds nice, who has ever reached a place where they’re completely free of conflict and disturbance?
Pew Research found that 40% of people report lacking a feeling of peace the majority of the time.
Among those who did not affiliate with a religion, 60% say they don’t feel a sense of peace the majority of the time. Nearly a third of them (32%) said they never experience peace.
We all get distracted, annoyed, and unsettled. Most of us have yet to find a place where there isn’t at least some sort of conflict.
Does that mean peace is an evasive emotion only brought on by the perfect circumstances?
That’s what we’re taught growing up. We’re taught that good things only come from good performance.
Do well on tests so you can make good grades.
Clean your room so you can go outside and play.
Do what God says so you won’t go to hell.
We naturally assume that peace is the same way – it won’t come until we’ve eliminated everything undesirable from our lives.
And we wonder why anxiety, depression, and suicide are on the rise at an alarming rate.
The truth is, peace is not found in the absence of conflict. It’s found in the healthy confrontation of conflict.
When we avoid discomfort in our lives in the hopes that we’ll have peace, we actually bring more stress on ourselves.
It’s called “Avoidance Coping” and it can snowball stress and anxiety.
The world is broken, and the more we try to mend it back together to avoid the brokenness, the more we realize that there’s more that’s broken than we can fix.
This type of avoidant behavior has been shown to lead to increased anxiety and panic disorders.
Self-improvement is great, but fixing things isn’t realistic. And it isn’t your job.
When you embrace the fact that you’re not the world’s fixer and you don’t have to get it right all the time, you start to feel free.
Psychologists call this approach Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
D. Steven Hayes, creator of ACT, says, “We as a culture seem to be dedicated to the idea that ‘negative’ human emotions need to be fixed, managed, or changed — not experienced as part of a whole life. We are treating our own lives as problems to be solved, as if we can sort through our experiences for the ones we like and throw out the rest.”
The essence of ACT is that peace comes from healthy confrontation of internal and external conflict.
Psychologically speaking, the path to internal peace involves:
- Awareness of the reality of the situation
- Being present and not avoidant
- Understanding your identity outside of your thoughts and feelings
- Assessing emotions and circumstances factually, not judgmentally
- Taking values-based actions rather than fear-based actions
But all of that can be summed up in this:
Peace is not found in your ability to do the right things or avoid the wrong things.
Peace is found when you stop avoidant behavior, take a breath, face reality without emotional judgement, act in accordance with what you value, then let go of control.
God keeps every planet on its axis and every heart beating, and he doesn’t need help.
So be where you are, control what you can control, and let go of the rest.
We don’t have to be perfect or fix things. Once we embrace that, we’ll start to see that brokenness can’t be fixed; it can only be rebuilt.
And God’s the only one who can do that.
Contrary to cultural belief, you can have peace in the middle of conflict and chaos.
It just requires you to stop trying to remove chaos and start addressing it for what it is: a reminder that your peace was never something to chase in the first place.
It’s a gift that only comes by being bold enough to accept and allow God to do the work of restoring you.