Mike Taylor

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  • Platforms and stairs

    She was barely two. Dusty knees and hair stuck to her cheek from the last parts of the sucker she had on the way over to dad’s work.

    She stood at the edge of the loading dock, arms stretched high, reaching for a place she couldn’t touch.

    Her dad watched from the side, carrying boxes up the staircase behind her. Back and forth. Load after load.

    Each time he passed, she pointed again.

    “Up,” she said. “Up.”

    He smiled, but kept walking.

    She grunted this time as she tried to pull herself up by the edge, but her legs slipped and she landed in the gravel.

    Frustrated tears came fast. She turned to him, betrayed.

    He set down the box, knelt beside her, and brushed the dirt from her hands.

    “There’s a way,” he said gently, pointing to the stairs. “But you’ve gotta walk around the platform.”

    She didn’t understand; she just looked up again.

    So he scooped her into his arms and carried her the long way around.

    Step by step they went up the stairs while he held her hand.

    At the top, she grinned wide like she’d done it herself.

    He just held her steady while she celebrated, then he took her hand.

    “Come on,” he said. “Walk with me.”

    And that’s what they did.

    Down the stairs and back up again. One step at a time. Over and over like it was a carnival ride.

    She came to love the steps more than she loved the platform.

    She didn’t know it then, but she was doing much more than helping dad unload boxes.

  • The false path to fulfilled dreams

    College used to be marketed as being “for everyone”.

    It still is today to some degree (see what I did there 😉).

    That “mistruth” is more false now than it’s ever been.

    College can be one of the best experiences a young person has, especially if they go in with a plan.

    I’m very glad that doctors, engineers, lawyers, and scientists go to college.

    But having a plan and using college as a springboard to a successful career is not the norm.

    One survey found that a third of American adults had no plan after graduation.

    Another study found that about half of all bachelor’s degree graduates end up in a job that doesn’t require a college degree.

    Meanwhile, college graduates, on average, leave school with $38,000 in student loan debt.

    Most kids sign up for college, agree to pay the massive bill, then try to figure it out while they’re there. And sadly, almost half of them don’t (40% don’t graduate).

    College has become this place to extend high school and delay adulthood. And it’s not hard to understand why.

    We ask 18-year-olds to pick a major, choose a career path, and invest thousands upon thousands of dollars in a decision they don’t fully understand yet.

    And even if they do it right, there’s still one major skillset they probably won’t learn in college:

    How to solve real-world problems without a rulebook or a manual to follow.

    College teaches you how to research, write, show up on time, and follow instructions. 

    All of that has value, of course. 

    But real success – especially today – demands more. You have to know how to step into unclear situations and figure out what to do next.

    That’s rare today, and it’s because of how we teach our kids.

    It’s almost impossible to teach that in a classroom.

    Most college programs don’t regularly ask students to solve problems without a clear process. Students are taught to give the right answer, not find one on their own.

    But the people who build careers and lead teams and make things better are the ones who create solutions when there wasn’t a roadmap, not the ones who follow all the steps correctly.

    That doesn’t mean college is a waste. It has immense value for certain career paths. It just means there are huge gaps between what’s efficient for grading and what’s effective in the real world.

    And the truth is, we desperately need more problem solvers than we need rule followers.

  • The (new) American dream

    The American Dream as we know it is going away.

    It’s making way for new opportunity.

    For generations, the formula was simple: work hard, follow the rules, climb the ladder. Show up, do your job, and you’ll be fine.

    But now the ladder is gone.

    The jobs are being outsourced, automated, or eliminated altogether.

    And the dream we were promised is slipping through our fingers.

    Not because people stopped working hard, but because the reward for average is dwindling.

    And it’s not a glitch in capitalism. Capitalism is working exactly how it should.

    It rewards efficiency. It rewards speed. It rewards cheap.

    And robots are really good at all three.

    You can’t praise capitalism when it lifts someone up, then curse it when it replaces you. It’s just doing what it’s designed to do – to optimize.

    Which means you have to change what you bring to the table.

    Seth Godin calls this the end of the industrial economy. The death of “just showing up.”

    In his book Linchpin, he says the future belongs to people who bring something human – creativity, generosity, insight, care.

    Cogs, button-pushers, and box-checkers won’t excel in this model.

    Linchpins are not the cheapest or the fastest. They’re the ones you’d miss if they disappeared.

    • They’re the barista who remembers your name and your story.
    • The employee who solves problems before they escalate.
    • The designer who hears what you meant, not just what you said.
    • The teacher who turns information into transformation.

    Being a Linchpin means showing up with intention, solving real problems, and offering something no one else can replicate.

    We’re not being replaced because we’re lazy. We’re being replaced because we became predictable.

    And predictable is easy to automate.

    So now we face a choice:

    Mourn the loss of stability, or step into the risk of becoming irreplaceable.

    The American Dream isn’t dead. It’s just evolving.

    It’s no longer about climbing the ladder.

    It’s more about becoming a ladder that people would miss if it were gone.

    That, I believe, is an evolution that we desperately need.

  • Emotional intoxication

    Being right feels good. Chemically, it’s a drug.

    When you feel like you’re right, your brain is flooded with adrenaline and dopamine. 

    You’re on top of the world, in control, dominant, and powerful. 

    It’s easy to become dependent on that feeling for self worth. 

    Before you know it, you’re addicted to being right.

    This is why people poke and prod just to get a reaction out of someone. 

    This is why people jump into an argument on social media to bicker over something that’s essentially meaningless. 

    They’re addicted to being right. 

    Certainty can also become an addiction. 

    When we feel like what we’re doing is not 100% right or safe, there’s tension in the uncertainty, and we start missing the adrenaline and dopamine hits.

    That’s why starting something new is so appealing.

    The change in direction gives us that ever-elusive high of finding something that feels “right”.

    A study found that “a rush of dopamine accompanies fresh experiences of any kind.”

    Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps us feel pleasure, and anytime we find something new or feel like we’ve achieved something, that dopamine makes us feel important and victorious.

    So we ride from one high to the next rather than doing the hard work of digging in, pushing through conflict, and dealing with the friction of uncertainty. 

    Friction in the form of conflict or resistance causes your body to release cortisol, which is your stress hormone.

    Cortisol causes the thinking, reasoning, and compassionate side of your brain to go off-line. 

    When this happens, you go into “fight or flight“ mode. Your body goes into “lizard brain” mode, and its only goal is to survive. 

    That’s when the hunt for dopamine begins.

    And the cycle continues.

    To get your brain back online and out of the dopamine hunt, try this:

    Do something distracting to sober up emotionally.

    Walk, talk to a friend, play a game or watch a movie…do anything to throw your mind off the scent of the quick win it’s craving.

    It’s intoxicating to have a mountaintop moment, but you don’t need it. 

    You don’t need a cheap, quick win.

    You don’t need to ruminate or “vent”.

    Ruminating and dwelling on obsessive thoughts only feeds your brain‘s desire to be right.

    Step away, take a breath, and give yourself the space you need to make a reasonable and compassionate choice rather than fighting for another chemical hit.

    Box breathing techniques are particularly helpful to bring your mind to the present moment.

    You can also take notice of the objects around you or start counting your fingers and toes. 

    The goal is to engage the part of your brain that thinks rationally and compassionately so your survival-mode lizard brain can take a break.

    And in the margin required to emotionally sober up, you’ll be surprised how clearly you can see things.

  • How to argue better

    The key to growth is better conflict, not less conflict.

    But we usually connect conflict with failure.

    What’s interesting, though, is that a growing body of research is finding that healthy conflict is good for development.

    Christine Carter, Ph.D., Senior Fellow at the Greater Good Science Center says:

    “Research shows that learning positive conflict resolution brings loads of benefits to kids, boosting their academic performance and increasing their self-confidence and self-esteem. It has also been linked to increased achievement, higher-level reasoning, and creative problem solving.”

    In their book Nurture Shock, authors Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman say:

    “In taking our marital arguments upstairs to avoid exposing the children to strife, we accidentally deprived them of chances to witness how two people who care about each other can work out their differences in a calm and reasoned way.”

    Here’s what professionals have found about how to argue well:

    Argue about resolvable issues, not nebulous complaints.

    Concrete issues can be resolved. Character flaws and emotional obscurities cannot.

    Researchers say, “Being able to successfully differentiate between issues that need to be resolved versus those that can be laid aside for now may be one of the keys to a long-lasting, happy relationship.”

    Also, good conflict requires being emotionally sober.

    Conflict puts our brain into fight or flight, and we’re incapable of thinking clearly.

    The chemicals released in an emotional state make us emotionally “drunk”.

    Bring yourself back to the present. Go for a walk, call a friend, read, or work out. 

    Do something to give your lizard brain a break so the chemicals can dissipate.

    And remember the goal:

    Unity is more important than being right.

    You don’t have to be right to experience progress.

    In fact, you rarely can have both.

    Most fights simply come from unmet expectations. So being willing to give up the need to be right is half the battle.

    Mental health expert Dr. John Delony says, “We think in pictures but we speak in words.” 

    Most relational problems stem from bullishly chasing different visions.

    So here’s simple part:

    Two people who are not emotionally drunk, who are willing to not be right, who argue about solvable problems…

    They grow through conflict rather than caving under the weight of it.

  • How to win an argument

    A few important questions to ask for a successful argument:

    • Will arguing my viewpoint benefit the other person? 
    • Am I too emotional?
    • Am I too dedicated to my viewpoint?
    • Am I excited when they say something wrong?
    • Am I looking for validation?
    • Am I speaking more than I’m listening?

    If the answer to any of these is yes, then your head isn’t ready to argue yet.

    Then ask…

    • Am I empathizing?
    • Do I know what they value?
    • Do I know why they’re arguing for what they’re arguing for?
    • Have I clearly communicated the reason behind my argument?
    • Am I prepared to compromise?
    • Am I giving them the benefit of the doubt?

    If the answer to any of these is no, then your heart isn’t ready to argue yet.

    The truth is always found somewhere between your beliefs and others’. Always. No matter how wrong they seem.

    If you prepare your heart and mind for that reality, then arguments become generous acts of back and forth for the sake of a deeper discovery of truth.

    We both win.

    And man…

    Imagine the world we would live in if we approached it that way.

  • DNA

    It took a lot to get you here.

    If you feel like a broken mess, you’re not.

    You are a genetic masterpiece in every sense of the word.

    Consider this:

    When you were conceived, you beat 300 million other seeds to be born.

    You were 20-30x smaller than a grain of salt, yet you contained half of the genetic information that makes you who you are.

    Your mother’s egg was about the size of a period at the end of a sentence in an average book and it contained the other half of the genetic information that makes you who you are.

    When those two came together, a 100% new genetic human being was created. 

    From the moment of your conception, cells began multiplying at a rate of 4,000 cells per second. 

    Brain cells began multiplying at a rate of 100,000 cells per second. 

    Some cells became heart cells, some lung cells, some brain cells.

    Your body makes 2 million red blood cells per second, and you do it without ever thinking about it.

    How does this happen?

    Inside every cell in you is a three-billion-letter DNA structure that belongs only to you.

    It’s a digital code – like a computer program – that’s far more advanced than any we’ve ever created.

    The information in DNA directs the construction of proteins to do all the important functional jobs in the cell.

    The arrangement of amino acids has to be correct in order for a protein to accomplish its job inside the cell.

    And it does this all on its own because the instructions in DNA are directing the production.

    Dr. Francis Collins, director of the Human Genome Project (that mapped the human DNA structure) said that we can think of DNA as “an instructional script, a software program, sitting in the nucleus of the cell.”

    All this to say…

    You’re not hopeless.

    You’re not a waste of time.

    You’re not a mistake or broken beyond repair.

    You may feel like everything is going wrong. But there’s a LOT going right inside of you every moment of every day, and it’s been happening all on its own from the moment of your conception.

    So it’s okay to let go.

    It’s okay to let the One who made you keep doing what he does.

  • Panic attack

    (If you’re dealing with panic right now, skip to the bottom.)

    Last night, panic showed up.

    Not the band. The band would’ve been much cooler.

    This was the old familiar feeling of a panic attack.

    It was 2:30 am, and I woke up to use the bathroom. I had just had a dream that I can’t remember, but I do remember I woke up with a slight pit in my stomach.

    It was fear that something was coming. Maybe it was sickness, maybe it was just the expectation of something bad.

    It’s wild how expectations can create realities.

    I laid back down and I could feel the thoughts coming.

    The internal dialog went something like this:

    “There’s a pit in my stomach. Am I getting sick?”

    “I’m not getting sick.”

    “But what if…”

    “I’m not. Go to sleep.”

    “If I am getting sick, this is the beginning of hours of misery. And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

    “That’s right. If it’s coming, it’s coming. Nothing I can do about it.”

    “Now my nose is stopped up. It’s hard to breathe. I can’t get a full breath…”

    “Calm down. You’re fine.”

    “Oh no, I really can’t get a full breath…”

    “This is temporary. Sit with it. Ride it out. It’s just a wave of anxiety. It can’t do anything to you.”

    “I feel like I’m going crazy.”

    [at this point I feel the wave of butterflies start in the middle of my stomach and shoot out to my entire body]

    “Here it is. The panic is coming…”

    “It can’t do a thing to me. Thank you Lord for being right here.”

    [I’m laying on my stomach and I feel God say to turn over and lay flat on my back with my arms out and my legs fully extended.]

    “I give everyone and everything to you, Lord.”

    [I start box breathing for a minute, then because my breaths are rapid, it freaks me out more that I can only breath for 2 seconds in and 2 seconds out. So I stop box breathing and keep releasing control to God.]

    “I give it all to you, Lord. You’re in control. My body and my life is in your hands, not my own. Let what comes, come.”

    I laid there for a few minutes facing the panic without trying to control it. Just noticing it and sitting with it.

    At that point I felt what I can only describe as a calm discomfort.

    The next thing I remember is waking up at 5:30 am.

    Panic came and the panic went. And just like every other time, I was fine. It didn’t do anything to me.

    If I had been sick, running with spiraling thoughts wouldn’t have helped a thing.

    If it’s coming, it’s coming. So what. Let it.

    As Shaun Johnson says in his book Attacking Anxiety:

    You’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and this will pass.

    I’ve done this enough to know that this is a truth you can count on:

    “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty […]

    You will not fear the terror of night … nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness …

    A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes […]”

    (Psalm 91:1, 5-8)

    If you’re wrestling with panic, listen to this:

    Then listen to / read these:

  • Why face-to-face relationships are vital

    Depression has been rising for 20 years. And there’s at least one obvious culprit.

    As Andy Andrews says in his book The Noticer, life’s opportunities and encouragement come from relationships.

    It seems simple, but it’s a profound truth we’ve forgotten in a digital age.

    Relationships bring meaning to life.

    An 80-year study conducted by Harvard researchers concluded that, “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.”

    And if you want better relationships, communication is vital.

    Relationships are the product of communication – both verbal and nonverbal.

    Today, though, most communication happens digitally. 

    One survey found that for Millenials and Gen Z, over 70% of daily communications happen digitally rather than in-person.

    It’s probably not a stretch to say that your relationships are being built on a digital foundation.

    Research is finding more and more that it probably isn’t a good thing.

    Here’s what researchers have found about the value of in-person interactions:

    It’s pretty clear:

    Digital communications are not a good way to build relationships and work together towards shared goals.

    Researchers generally agree that nonverbal communication (body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, even physical proximity) plays a significant role in how we process information and how we decide to trust people. 

    The famous 7/38/55 rule of communication from Albert Mehrabian suggests that as much as 93% of communication is nonverbal (words are 7% of the message, tone of voice is 38%, and body language is 55%).

    The human voice also plays a significant role in communicating and connecting. 

    According to research, “There are linguistic cues that come through someone’s voice that suggest a feeling and thinking mind […] And since connecting with somebody means getting a little closer to their mind, voice-based communication makes that easier or more likely.”

    Other studies have also come to the same conclusion – there’s something about hearing a person’s voice that enables us to connect more easily.

    When you communicate with someone via text, you’re essentially trying to build a relationship with one hand behind your back and two feet tied together.

    And we wonder why our relationships feel like they’re struggling.

    It’s vital for our health to prioritize in-person interactions with the people we want to build relationships with.

    Your thoughts are almost guaranteed to be at least a little misunderstood through email or text.

    Research has shown that emotion cannot be accurately conveyed through email – even if the person you’re sending it to is a friend of yours.

    When motives are in question, people typically assume the worst. 

    Humans are naturally inclined towards criticism, negativity, and catastrophizing.

    One study found that as much as 70% of thoughts and internal chatter are negative. 

    The only way to overcome the human tendency to misunderstand intentions and assume the worst is to use all the communication tools available to you – 90% of which are only available face-to-face.

    If you want to build a connection with someone, solve a problem, make a plan, or work through conflict, it’s almost always better face-to-face.

  • Perspective (Colossians 3:2)

    Change always begins with a perspective shift.

    The apostle Paul wrote to the Colossians, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

    Their perspective was split – partly on Jesus, partly on the culture around them.

    The good news of Jesus was being blended with other beliefs.

    Paul urges them to take their eyes off what the world offers.

    Give up alternate sources of significance, status, and comfort.

    If you’ve ever wrestled with stress, anxiety, depression, or panic, this is more profound than it sounds.

    Release is the only path to freedom and peace.

    Chasing structure, comfort, money, or anything else will always end with emptiness.

    Chasing causes:

    • Chronic fatigue
    • Hopelessness
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Panic attacks
    • Obsession
    • Hyperactivity

    When you chase “more”, the chase never ends.

    You just spin around and around trying to keep up – medicating with anything that will work along the way.

    Caffeine, alcohol, sex, food, shopping…

    It never ends.

    Jesus said “whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”

    Release is the only way out.

    Just before he said the line above, Jesus said, “you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

    Release always starts with a shift in perspective.

    Romans 12:2 says, “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is…”

    The order is important:

    Be transformed…

    by…

    the renewing of your mind.

    This is the power of perspective.

    If you want peace and freedom, spend more time on perspective than performance.