I’ve said this sentence a lot:

“I feel like God is saying…” [fill in the blank].

Take the job, leave the job, start the business, end the relationship, move cities, launch the nonprofit, etc.

Maybe you can relate.

What I’ve found, though, is that “I feel like God is saying…” isn’t a biblical concept.

When I’ve said that, what I really meant was…

“Based on what I know about God, and based on what I want, this seems right to me.”

That is not the same thing as God speaking.

And it’s VERY important to distinguish between the two. 

The gap between what we think God is saying and what he’s actually saying is where a lot of frustration, confusion, and resentment toward God is born.

Most of the time, when we think we’re hearing God tell us to do something, he probably isn’t. 

At least, not in the way we think.

So how does God speak based on Scripture, and how can we make sure we’re hearing the voice of God?

Let’s look at this from a few different angles.

When you don’t need a “word” from God

Think about this…

If my relationship with my dad is so close that when I walk into a situation I already know exactly what he would say, then my dad doesn’t need to say anything.

I already know his voice in that area.

If you’re in a situation where you’re almost certain what God would say based on Scripture and His character, then you don’t need to obsess over hearing direct instructions.

Obsession is fear talking. 

You already know what to do. So do it.

If you’re in a really hard stretch in your marriage and you think God has released you from it, that is not God telling you to get divorced. Scripture is very clear that God hates divorce. (Malachi 2:16, Matthew 19:6)

But that does not mean that no one should ever get divorced. This is where people get stuck. We want a simple YES/NO rule.

The truth is more nuanced:

God hates divorce, but God also understands and makes room for human weakness and real world pain (Jesus said this in Matthew 19:8).

God hating divorce yet extending grace to people going through unbearable pain in a marriage (through infidelity, abuse, etc.) is very different from God personally telling you to get a divorce.

But we HATE that it isn’t a black or white, YES or NO answer.

In this in-between – where the answer is not instantly clear – is where the struggle with God is, and this is where faith and grace live.

God saying something versus God covering something

There is a big difference between:

• God saying “do this”
• God covering you when you do something imperfect

When we make a choice that doesn’t fully match the perfect character of God, there’s mercy and grace.

That grace is not to be abused. But we are called to love and appreciate it (Micah 6:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9). After all, that is the very heart of the gospel.

But when I slap “God told me” on top of my imperfect decision (and all of our decisions will have imperfections due to the nature of the human heart), something dangerous happens. 

Now I’m turning my choice into a decisive statement about God’s character.

And when something doesn’t go the way I expect it to go, I start questioning His character.

I start thinking, maybe God is harsh. Maybe He’s inconsistent. Maybe He set me up to fail so I would learn something.

But in reality, I made a decision – with or without His counsel – and I labeled it as His infallible instruction, and then I judged His character by my outcome.

This is not God’s heart for us, and it’s not even primarily how he spoke to his people in Scripture…

How Scripture usually describes the voice of God

If you look at how God spoke to the prophets in the Old Testament, you’ll see a phrase over and over:

“The word of the Lord came to ___”

It does not usually say, “God said:”

That phrase “the word of the Lord came” carries an idea of progressive revelation found in consistent intimacy.

In other words, over time, the prophet became aware of something that lined up with the heart and character of God. At some point they recognized it as His word.

It arrived, unfolded, or came to them progressively.

Yes, there are moments in Scripture where God speaks in a direct, unmistakable way. But that’s not what we see as the normal day to day experience with God in Scripture.

Most of the time the voice of God looks less like a command and more like a growing clarity about His heart.

God’s voice is usually like a counselor revealing truth through a journey rather than delivering answers. 

Counselors will tell you it’s much more effective to help someone understand something for themselves and take ownership of a decision rather than simply telling them what to do.

Isaiah describes a day when there will be a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21) He’s not in front of you like a drill sergeant leading with fear; He’s behind you while you walk by faith, not sight.

You’re the one moving, and he’s behind you counseling you in the way you should go. It’s a submission of free will happening.

Freedom, not spiritual paralysis

There’s a popular Christian line that sounds very mature and goes something like this:

“I’m not moving until God moves.”

It sounds holy. The problem is, it’s not how Scripture describes freedom in Christ.

This line of thinking comes at least in part from the Old Testament when God went before the people of Israel in the wilderness.

Here’s how it’s described in the book of Exodus:

“By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.” (Exodus 13:21)

Later in Exodus, it says, “In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out—until the day it lifted.” (Exodus 40:36-37)

Here’s the problem with applying that line of thinking to us today…

In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul said that BEFORE Jesus, God’s people were “locked up” (Galatians 3:23). He said they were like kids under a guardian, and “as long as an heir is underage, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate.” (Galatians 4:1)

They lived by the Law and did not have freedom. He says they were slaves (Galatians 4:3).

But then he says that when Jesus came, “God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.”

So post-Jesus, we are free.

Paul says “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Galatians 5:1)

That’s a really strange sentence if you don’t understand how God sees freedom.

A slave has no decision-making authority. A slave waits for orders. A slave doesn’t have to wrestle with options.

But in Christ, we’re not slaves waiting for instructions. 

We are sons and daughters and ambassadors of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20). Ambassadors are trusted to make decisions that represent the heart of the king. They have to think, discern, then act.

But that doesn’t mean we have complete freedom to do whatever we want and still receive the blessing of God.

As always, there’s nuance…

Here’s another potentially confusing piece of Scripture:

Paul says in his letter to the church in Corinth that, “the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.” (1 Corinthians 7:22)

In other words, if you came to Christ as a free person, take on the posture of a slave. Learn to willingly submit your independence to Him so your thinking can be shifted to a posture of humility and release.

If you came to Christ without freedom, as a slave or as someone under heavy control, you now have freedom in Him. You learn to make decisions in partnership with God.

He’s not erasing your free will in either case. He’s renewing your mind so you can use your free will to glorify Him.

The problem with “just tell me what to do”

The other day I was sitting next to my five year old son, Brooks, on our living room couch. He had a stack of paper and a pencil.

He said, “Dad, what do you want me to draw?”

“Draw whatever you want, bud.”

“But what do you want me to draw?”

“What do you want to draw?”

He started getting frustrated. “I don’t know. Just tell me what to draw and I’ll draw it.”

So I told him “Draw a dog,” and he drew a dog. As soon as he finished, he looked up again and asked, “Now what do you want me to draw?”

Now I started getting frustrated because I realized I had created a pattern where he doesn’t get to exercise freedom and creativity.

He never has to think about what he enjoys. He never has to take a risk. He never has to wrestle with creativity or choice. He only has to perform.

As his dad, what brings me joy is not him mechanically doing exactly what I say to do. What brings me joy is watching him find joy in creating. 

Even if what he makes is random and messy, the fact that it came from his heart makes me so happy. Because whatever he makes is an expression of his heart, which ultimately is an expression of my heart as his father who has helped guide and raise him.

So instead of telling him what to draw, I started asking questions.

“What do you enjoy? What’s your favorite toy? Where’s your favorite place?”

His answers started to turn into ideas, and he started running with ideas rather than waiting for me to tell him what to do. And what he made made me smile.

That’s what I believe the Father is after with us.

His goal for us isn’t robotic obedience to a list of individualized life directions. He’s raising children who know His heart and choose to create and decide in a way that reflects Him.

The problem with labeling something as being “from God”

Think about what we’re really saying when we say “God told me ____”?

We’re usually describing a mix of:

• Thoughts
• Emotions
• Desires
• Intuitions

All of these things swirl around a situation until one direction feels overwhelmingly “right” to us.

If you walk with God, you have His Spirit, so of course He’s going to be in that mix. He’s still counseling you and nudging you.

But because we’re uncomfortable with uncertainty, we often turn the whole thing into a binary interaction.

Either God said it or He did not.

In doing so, we short circuit the wrestling process in exchange for the comfort of certainty.

This is where idolatry sneaks in.

The idolatry of easy answers

In Exodus, God warns Israel about not creating idols, and he says for them to not create images. 

An image is a visible representation of what we think something is like. It’s putting a finite boundary to something infinite.

God made us in his image. We have boundaries, therefore we are the image – the limited representation of an infinite being.

When we decide that God said something even though we’re uncertain about it, we’re basically saying, “If I were God, I would say to do this…”

When we attribute our decisions to God’s voice, we’re recreating Him in our image.

It becomes dangerously easy to try to control God’s character over time by simply changing our mind about a situation.

But we do this for control.

Control is at the root of all idolatry. And when we create an image (or an idol), Scripture says we “become like” the idol – unable to hear, see, speak, or feel (Psalm 115:8). We become unable to hear what God is speaking to us or experience his presence because we’re numbed by our submission to an idol.

By trusting in something we made, we become numb to the living, breathing, active word of God (Hebrews 4:12).

This is why it’s no light thing to say God 100% told you something. It can very quickly lead to destruction and death by misattributing God. This is the essence of blasphemy.

God took this very seriously with prophets.

If a prophet spoke on God’s behalf and it did not come from Him, that prophet was to be put to death. 

Why would prophets do this, then? Well, Scripture describes these false prophets as people who speak “presumptuously.” (Deuteronomy 18:22)

This Hebrew word for presumptuous means to be prideful and “resistant to counsel.”

It’s fitting that the word used to describe false prophets is someone who rejects a Counselor and speaks in absolutes.

When the Apostle Paul said, “Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know.” (1 Corinthians 8:2)

It’s also telling that the word presumption means “failing to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate.”

When we say, “God told me…”, we’re often being presumptuous. We’re stepping outside of the limits God placed on us and creating an idol by attempting to put the limits of our decisions on an infinite God.

But this does lead to an interesting question…

Does God still speak direct instructions like he did in the Bible?

Even in the Bible, it was a rare thing for God to speak directly to someone.

Remember, many of the prophets’ revelations were the Word of the Lord “coming to them” – not a direct, audible speaking.

But God did speak directly to people: Noah, Abraham, Hagar, Rebekah, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, David, Solomon, Elijah, Job, Paul, Ananias, Peter, etc.

But it was by no means the norm with God.

In fact, God’s voice is described in Scripture as a precious, rare thing

In Deuteronomy, Moses marvels at the fact that God speaks to him. He says, “Did any people ever hear the voice of God speaking out of the midst of the fire, as you have heard, and still live?”

It was a very, VERY high privilege to hear the actual voice of God.

Psalm 29:4 says, “The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is majestic.”

Majestic things are not common. When God speaks, it is – as it should be – a life-altering experience.

God himself says this about how he speaks to people:

“When there is a prophet among you, I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams. But this is not true of my servant Moses; he is faithful in all my house. With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord.” (Numbers 12:6-8)

God made a point to call out the significance of his direct speaking. It’s weighty, magnificent, and rare.

But…

We’re told that God has always spoken, even if not directly…

The writer of Hebrews says, “In the past God spoke to our ancestors at many times and in various ways,”

Job 33:14 says, “God speaks in one way, and in two, yet man does not perceive it.”

So how does God speak now primarily?

Well, Hebrews tells us, “…but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son.” (Hebrews 1:2)

Jesus says this in John’s gospel:

“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth […] he will tell you what is yet to come.” (John 16:13)

So the Spirit will speak to us. But how?

Jesus said, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8)

This is the “gentle whisper” Elijah heard (1 Kings 19:12). This is the voice behind us saying, “this is the way” (Isaiah 30:21).

This is the life we’re called to – being led by the Spirit. (Romans 8:14)

Spiritual maturity is not hearing an audible order for every move.

Maturity is:

• Bringing your desires to God
• Letting Scripture shape what “wise” looks like
• Listening to the counseling of the Spirit
• Making a choice
• Owning that choice

When I say “I believe this is the best decision I can make with what I know of God’s heart, and I’m asking Him to counsel me and correct me as I go,” now I’m engaged in the relationship.

I can look back later and say, “I see where God was in this,” without accusing Him.

I can say “I missed some things there” without crumbling.

I can say “there was hardship and God met me in it” without assuming He caused the hardship to teach me a lesson.

That is very different from “God, you told me to take this job, and now I hate this job, so this must be your plan.”

Too many people falsely believe God told them to do something that ended badly so they could learn a lesson.

Is this true? Is this God’s character?

Let’s look at it through Scripture…

Does God tell us to do things that end badly so we’ll learn a lesson?

Think about Joseph.

He has a dream from God about ruling, then he proudly tells his brothers. They hate him, throw him into a pit, sell him, and that whole chain leads to him going to Egypt, prison, and eventually leadership.

Later, Joseph says to his brothers, “You intended this for harm, but God intended it for good.”

Did God “intend” for Joseph to boast about his dream? No. Love is not proud, and God is love. That pride did not come from God.

Did God abandon Joseph when he acted in immaturity? No. God walked with him through the fallout and still fulfilled His purpose.

We often say “it must have been God’s plan” when tragedy hits. We often comfort ourselves with “God’s plan is bigger than ours.”

But a friend dying early is not the heart of God. Death is an enemy, not a tool from God’s heart. Our broken world has real sin and real consequences.

“God is in control” does not mean He’s control-ling. It means he’s powerful.

Power and control are not the same thing. 

In fact, the more powerful someone is, the less they have to control people to get their way. 

The President has immense power yet very little direct control. The more he grabs for control, the more he loses influence.

True power works through influence. 

This is why God wants to renew your mind. Romans 12:2 does not say “be controlled by God so you can know His will.” It says be transformed by the renewing of your mind so you can discern His will.

He’s not trying to turn you into a remote controlled humanoid. He is trying to grow you into a wise, free person who thinks like Him.

Here’s what that looks like…

If you’re deep in debt, struggling to pay bills, and convinced that “God told you” to quit your job and start a business with very little planning and no margin, you can be relatively certain that is NOT God.

Could you still start a business? Yes. Could God be stirring up a desire for something different? Yes. Could He walk with you if you make a reckless move? Of course, because He is kind and faithful and He cares for you.

But God’s heart is not to tell you to do something unwise so he can get glory later by bailing you out.

God gets glory when a dad or mom lays down their need to feel important, does the quiet work of providing, creating peace at home, and slowly building something with wisdom and patience.

God gets glory when someone stays at their job and delays gratification so their family isn’t crushed under the weight of their dream.

That does not make the big leap stories “bad”. It just means we need to stop justifying risky decisions with “God told me”.

There is a difference between “I want this, and I think it lines up with God’s heart, so I’m pursuing it with Him” and “God told me to do this, so if it goes badly it must be His mysterious plan.”

The cost of getting this wrong

When I label my decision as “God’s voice” and it later hurts me or my family, a few things happen.

• I blame God instead of owning my part
• I start to see God as harsh, demanding or inconsistent
• People watching my life start to see God that way too

If I say “God told me” and it leads to chaos in my home, unpaid bills, constant stress, and emotional whiplash for my spouse and kids, they’re going to quietly connect God with instability.

In the Old Testament, speaking for God when He had not spoken was taken very seriously for a reason because it warped how people saw Him.

We do something similar when we say “God told me” every time we make a move.

Hearing God as Counselor, not taskmaster

Jesus said the Spirit would come as an “Advocate” or “Counselor”. (John 14:26)

A counselor does not live your life for you. A counselor:

• Asks questions
• Exposes motives
• Gives wisdom
• Offers warning
• Encourages courage

That is the picture Scripture gives us. We’re not standing at a vending machine tossing up prayers and waiting for an answer to drop.

We are the people of God who wrestle with God.

We listen for the voice behind us saying “this is the way.”

We learn. Our mind is renewed. And over time, we start to think more and more like our Father. Our decisions are still not perfect, but they carry more of His heart.

So what do we do with “I think God is saying…”?

When I say, “I think God is saying…” what I mean is…

“I’ve been in Scripture, I’ve been in prayer, and I’ve slowed down enough to see my own motives. I’ve listened to the promptings and counsel of the Holy Spirit. I’ve also talked with other believers about it. Based on all of that and what I know of God’s character up until now, I believe this is the wisest decision.”

I have to be careful to not wholeheartedly stamp it as “God said” unless God actually did, literally, say something to me.

I’m not making a little image of God that becomes a scapegoat for my decisions.

I’m saying, “This is my choice, and I am making it with God as my guide.”

In that light, I can accurately experience God as patient, kind, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. 

Now I see him as a Father who delights to see His kids create, decide, and walk in freedom with Him.

So if you find yourself obsessing over “what is God telling me to do,” shift the question.

How can I make a decision that partners with God and glorifies him?

That will usually land you much closer to the voice of God than short-changing the relational back and forth with God.

And it’s also much more freeing.