Mike Taylor

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Anxiety College Communication Conflict Dreams Fear Impact Panic Attack Popular Purpose Relationships Simple Living

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  • DNA

    It took a lot to get you here.

    If you feel like a broken mess, you’re not.

    You are a genetic masterpiece in every sense of the word.

    Consider this:

    When you were conceived, you beat 300 million other seeds to be born.

    You were 20-30x smaller than a grain of salt, yet you contained half of the genetic information that makes you who you are.

    Your mother’s egg was about the size of a period at the end of a sentence in an average book and it contained the other half of the genetic information that makes you who you are.

    When those two came together, a 100% new genetic human being was created. 

    From the moment of your conception, cells began multiplying at a rate of 4,000 cells per second. 

    Brain cells began multiplying at a rate of 100,000 cells per second. 

    Some cells became heart cells, some lung cells, some brain cells.

    Your body makes 2 million red blood cells per second, and you do it without ever thinking about it.

    How does this happen?

    Inside every cell in you is a three-billion-letter DNA structure that belongs only to you.

    It’s a digital code – like a computer program – that’s far more advanced than any we’ve ever created.

    The information in DNA directs the construction of proteins to do all the important functional jobs in the cell.

    The arrangement of amino acids has to be correct in order for a protein to accomplish its job inside the cell.

    And it does this all on its own because the instructions in DNA are directing the production.

    Dr. Francis Collins, director of the Human Genome Project (that mapped the human DNA structure) said that we can think of DNA as “an instructional script, a software program, sitting in the nucleus of the cell.”

    All this to say…

    You’re not hopeless.

    You’re not a waste of time.

    You’re not a mistake or broken beyond repair.

    You may feel like everything is going wrong. But there’s a LOT going right inside of you every moment of every day, and it’s been happening all on its own from the moment of your conception.

    So it’s okay to let go.

    It’s okay to let the One who made you keep doing what he does.

  • Panic attack

    (If you’re dealing with panic right now, skip to the bottom.)

    Last night, panic showed up.

    Not the band. The band would’ve been much cooler.

    This was the old familiar feeling of a panic attack.

    It was 2:30 am, and I woke up to use the bathroom. I had just had a dream that I can’t remember, but I do remember I woke up with a slight pit in my stomach.

    It was fear that something was coming. Maybe it was sickness, maybe it was just the expectation of something bad.

    It’s wild how expectations can create realities.

    I laid back down and I could feel the thoughts coming.

    The internal dialog went something like this:

    “There’s a pit in my stomach. Am I getting sick?”

    “I’m not getting sick.”

    “But what if…”

    “I’m not. Go to sleep.”

    “If I am getting sick, this is the beginning of hours of misery. And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

    “That’s right. If it’s coming, it’s coming. Nothing I can do about it.”

    “Now my nose is stopped up. It’s hard to breathe. I can’t get a full breath…”

    “Calm down. You’re fine.”

    “Oh no, I really can’t get a full breath…”

    “This is temporary. Sit with it. Ride it out. It’s just a wave of anxiety. It can’t do anything to you.”

    “I feel like I’m going crazy.”

    [at this point I feel the wave of butterflies start in the middle of my stomach and shoot out to my entire body]

    “Here it is. The panic is coming…”

    “It can’t do a thing to me. Thank you Lord for being right here.”

    [I’m laying on my stomach and I feel God say to turn over and lay flat on my back with my arms out and my legs fully extended.]

    “I give everyone and everything to you, Lord.”

    [I start box breathing for a minute, then because my breaths are rapid, it freaks me out more that I can only breath for 2 seconds in and 2 seconds out. So I stop box breathing and keep releasing control to God.]

    “I give it all to you, Lord. You’re in control. My body and my life is in your hands, not my own. Let what comes, come.”

    I laid there for a few minutes facing the panic without trying to control it. Just noticing it and sitting with it.

    At that point I felt what I can only describe as a calm discomfort.

    The next thing I remember is waking up at 5:30 am.

    Panic came and the panic went. And just like every other time, I was fine. It didn’t do anything to me.

    If I had been sick, running with spiraling thoughts wouldn’t have helped a thing.

    If it’s coming, it’s coming. So what. Let it.

    As Shaun Johnson says in his book Attacking Anxiety:

    You’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and this will pass.

    I’ve done this enough to know that this is a truth you can count on:

    “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty …

    You will not fear the terror of night … nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness …

    A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes…” (Psalm 91:1, 5-8)

    If you’re wrestling with panic, do this

    Listen to this:

    Then listen to / read these:

  • Why face-to-face relationships are vital

    Depression has been rising for 20 years. And there’s at least one obvious culprit.

    As Andy Andrews says in his book The Noticer, life’s opportunities and encouragement come from relationships.

    It seems simple, but it’s a profound truth we’ve forgotten in a digital age.

    Relationships bring meaning to life.

    An 80-year study conducted by Harvard researchers concluded that, “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.”

    And if you want better relationships, communication is vital.

    Relationships are the product of communication – both verbal and nonverbal.

    Today, though, most communication happens digitally. 

    One survey found that for Millenials and Gen Z, over 70% of daily communications happen digitally rather than in-person.

    It’s probably not a stretch to say that your relationships are being built on a digital foundation.

    Research is finding more and more that it probably isn’t a good thing.

    Here’s what researchers have found about the value of in-person interactions:

    It’s pretty clear:

    Digital communications are not a good way to build relationships and work together towards shared goals.

    Researchers generally agree that nonverbal communication (body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, even physical proximity) plays a significant role in how we process information and how we decide to trust people. 

    The famous 7/38/55 rule of communication from Albert Mehrabian suggests that as much as 93% of communication is nonverbal (words are 7% of the message, tone of voice is 38%, and body language is 55%).

    The human voice also plays a significant role in communicating and connecting. 

    According to research, “There are linguistic cues that come through someone’s voice that suggest a feeling and thinking mind […] And since connecting with somebody means getting a little closer to their mind, voice-based communication makes that easier or more likely.”

    Other studies have also come to the same conclusion – there’s something about hearing a person’s voice that enables us to connect more easily.

    When you communicate with someone via text, you’re essentially trying to build a relationship with one hand behind your back and two feet tied together.

    And we wonder why our relationships feel like they’re struggling.

    It’s vital for our health to prioritize in-person interactions with the people we want to build relationships with.

    Your thoughts are almost guaranteed to be at least a little misunderstood through email or text.

    Research has shown that emotion cannot be accurately conveyed through email – even if the person you’re sending it to is a friend of yours.

    When motives are in question, people typically assume the worst. 

    Humans are naturally inclined towards criticism, negativity, and catastrophizing.

    One study found that as much as 70% of thoughts and internal chatter are negative. 

    The only way to overcome the human tendency to misunderstand intentions and assume the worst is to use all the communication tools available to you – 90% of which are only available face-to-face.

    If you want to build a connection with someone, solve a problem, make a plan, or work through conflict, it’s almost always better face-to-face.

  • Simple impact

  • Perspective (Colossians 3:2)

    Change always begins with a perspective shift.

    The apostle Paul wrote to the Colossians, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

    Their perspective was split – partly on Jesus, partly on the culture around them.

    The good news of Jesus was being blended with other beliefs.

    Paul urges them to take their eyes off what the world offers.

    Give up alternate sources of significance, status, and comfort.

    If you’ve ever wrestled with stress, anxiety, depression, or panic, this is more profound than it sounds.

    Release is the only path to freedom and peace.

    Chasing structure, comfort, money, or anything else will always end with emptiness.

    Chasing causes:

    • Chronic fatigue
    • Hopelessness
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Panic attacks
    • Obsession
    • Hyperactivity

    When you chase “more”, the chase never ends.

    You just spin around and around trying to keep up – medicating with anything that will work along the way.

    Caffeine, alcohol, sex, food, shopping…

    It never ends.

    Jesus said “whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”

    Release is the only way out.

    Just before he said the line above, Jesus said, “you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

    Release always starts with a shift in perspective.

    Romans 12:2 says, “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is…”

    The order is important:

    Be transformed…

    by…

    the renewing of your mind.

    This is the power of perspective.

    If you want peace and freedom, spend more time on perspective than performance.

  • Platforms

    Platforms are polarizing:

    Some desire them, some despise them.

    Which one is right?

    If a platform is simply a structure intended to elevate a person or idea for the purpose of increased attention…

    …then the platform itself might not be the problem.

    The most important question is: who or what is on the platform?

    We need more people building platforms (see Matthew 5:16 & Proverbs 22:1) and less putting themselves on top of them (see Matthew 23:12 & Acts 12:23).

  • Worshipping acceptance

    When pushed to decide, humans lean towards acceptance.

    Lack of acceptance is scary – it’s terrifying.

    Acceptance usually equals survival, so it makes sense.

    It feels safe and comfortable because it gives us the perception of control.

    If I’m accepted, I have less things to worry about being outside of my sphere of influence.

    If I’m not accepted, it feels like I have people against me, which feels like chaos.

    Because acceptance is so comfortable, it can quickly become the thing we’re willing to sacrifice everything for.

    And what you sacrifice to, you worship.

    So if you’re going to give something up, just make sure it’s on the right altar.

  • Releasing the f-word

    Most people aren’t held back by a lack of knowledge, opportunity, health, wealth, or wellbeing.

    The single barrier blocking most of us is fear.

    Fear tells you:

    • keep everything under control
    • be safe
    • don’t be too vulnerable
    • limit risk
    • don’t dream
    • don’t trust
    • don’t get your hopes up

    It stunts our ability to grow, lead, and impact the people around us.

    And it’s very subtle. It comes from past hurts and it waits beneath the surface for years.

    We get hurt, then we isolate, then we hold onto the pain because it feels like something we deserved.

    Unknowingly, we feed fear.

    But at the root of fear is something much sneakier – the need for control.

    See, the fruit of fear is easy to spot:

    • Anger
    • Stress
    • Worry
    • Feelings of insignificance
    • So on and so forth

    But you’ll notice that these pop up whenever things feel out of control.

    Control feels safe, so we learn to chase it. 

    When we realize we can’t have it – because we can never truly have full control of anything in life – the body goes into fight or flight.

    This is the essence of anxiety.

    It’s caused by unthrottled and mismanaged thoughts about situations that are outside of our control.

    This is also the cycle of fear. 

    What we do with the desire for control is what will determine whether or not fear grows inside of us.

    We can do one of two things:

    1. Be willing to sit with the discomfort of what’s uncontrollable without trying to fix it (which is REALLY difficult)
    2. Run in circles chasing a solution until our brains go haywire with stress, anxiety, and panic

    Unresolved pain will always lead us to option B.

    A person with an open wound has to give up control to a doctor to get healed. 

    Hiding the wound until it gets infected would cause unnecessary pain, anger, fear, and irrational behavior.

    Fighting for control usually leads to the opposite of what you want.

    Release is simple, yet counter-intuitive:

    Practice release in the small, mundane things, and start storing up positive outcomes.

    “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart…” (Luke 6:45)

    Memories drive behavior.

    Give your brain micro-experiences of releasing control throughout your day, and start storing up positive outcomes (not all will be positive, so more reps are better).

    With a memory bank of positive outcomes, releasing control will feel less and less like a death sentence.

    And over time, you’ll see that life and healing go hand in hand with release.

  • Holding water

    One day a psychology professor stepped in front of her class, filled a glass full of water, and raised it where everyone could see.

    The professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

    Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds. 

    The professor then replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it.”

    “If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light.”

    “If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little.”

    “If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will cramp up and go numb, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor.”

    “In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

    Stresses and worries in life are very much like that glass of water. 

    When carried for short periods of time, they have relatively no effect. 

    But the longer you ruminate, focus on them, and try to hold them without balance and rest, the more they hurt you. 

    At first, you begin to ache a little, but after a while, that same amount of relatively small weight can make you feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.

    You can carry a lot more than you think – but only when you do it a little at a time. 

  • Salt of the earth

    Driven people with character are dangerous.

    Those people are the ones who create a better world.

    Both are key – drive and character.

    One without the other is like separating sodium from chlorine in sodium chloride, also known as salt.

    These two become salt only when they’re together.

    When separated, both sodium and chlorine are dangerous and volatile.

    If the formula for salt is sodium (Na) + chlorine (Cl), then the formula for building driven people of character – the “salt” of the earth, is this:

    Urgency (to solve an important problem) + Patience (the willingness to work and wait for progress) = Driven People of Character.

    I call it “patient urgency”.

    You must have both urgency and patience.

    Just like sodium and chlorine are harmful on their own, so too are urgency and patience.

    Urgency without patience kills character.

    Patience without urgency kills drive.

    When they come together, though, you get a rare mixture that both preserves and improves everything it touches.