Trying to influence people who have vastly different beliefs than you is maddening sometimes.

If you know something – and I mean really know something through experience and research – and you share that information with someone only to get resistance in return…it’s easy to want to throw your hands up and walk away.

I get it. The frustration is, most people operate in ignorance, speaking and acting on very limited facts or perspective.

But when you engage with differing beliefs, there’s something happening beneath the surface that’s much more important than what you’re seeing.

See, it’s been said that people won’t remember what you say, only what you do.

But truthfully, people don’t always forget what you said, they just rarely hear it in the first place.

It’s not because they’re rude. It’s just because we’re all mostly half-there.

We’re busy scrolling, jumping from one thing to the next, and waiting for our turn to talk.

We think we’re listening, but we’re just weeding through the noise.

Presence has become rare. And rare things become valuable.

Think about this:

According to Forbes, 92% of highly engaged employees say they feel heard at work. In companies that outperform others, 88% of employees feel heard – compared to just 62% in companies that don’t.

It turns out that listening isn’t just polite. It’s productive.

One study found that brain development was increased in children who had interactive conversations where they were being listened to by an adult.

Because being heard feels like being seen. And being seen changes people.

The opposite is also true.

Distraction doesn’t just break focus; it erodes connection.

So the question being asked in the head of someone who’s speaking to you isn’t, “Did they hear me?” The question is, “Do they care about me?”

This is the power of listening and engaging in conversations even when it feels like what you’re saying isn’t being heard.

Because listening isn’t passive. It’s sacrificial. It costs you attention, energy, and pride.

Scripture says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)

But listening gives something more valuable in return: trust, clarity, and belonging.

You’re inviting someone into a connection with you by just listening.

I’m not saying you should let misinformation go unchecked. But what I am saying is this…

In a culture filled with opinions, it’s very rare and very valuable to listen even when it feels unproductive.

You don’t have to be brilliant to make someone feel loved. You just have to be fully there.

And appropriately and in time, speak truth. Give them truth in the connection made from listening.

When we’re shouting opinions back and forth, neither are being heard. More importantly, neither feel like the other cares.

And that is an issue worth addressing first before we worry about being right.